Eating has become confusing, which in and of itself is confusing because food is a basic necessity to life. Why all the confusion? Well, somewhere along the way we started making up diets and food rules to manipulate our bodies and keep them slim, no matter how miserable doing so made us. We now skip meals and eat dismal calories to fit into our bathing suits and wedding dresses, and this makes us feel like we are doing something right.
If everything you've read so far rings a bell for you, you are not alone and you have done nothing wrong! I am willing to bet that when you were restricting food for the sake of changing your body you hated doing so, and so did your body. We have hunger cues for a reason, as this is your body's signal to you that it needs fuel to perform basic functions or to boost your activities.
So what is normal eating? A normal eater is someone who doesn't follow food rules. A normal eater gives in to food cravings and doesn't feel bad about it. Normal eaters also choose nutritious foods often but are okay with eating play foods daily or as often as they like. Basically, normal eaters eat a range of foods that nourish and satisfy their bodies and don't think twice about doing so.
Want to know how you can become a normal eater? Read on!
Ditch the food rules
Food rules were made up by humans, and humans make mistakes all the time, like literally every day. The truth of the matter is, there really are no rules when it comes to food (except maybe the fact that you must eat it to live). We've been led to believe that certain foods are good and others are bad and that we must only eat the good foods, and if we eat the bad foods we better work out like crazy to compensate.
Some common food rules we think we need to follow to be healthy are: don't eat past 6:00 PM, eat low carb foods only, "junk" food is bad and has no value, fruits have too much sugar and should be eaten in moderation, and don't eat dessert every day. I'm here to tell you these are all untrue! Is your mind blown? Eating after 6:00 PM does not equal immediate weight gain. Junk foods (or play foods, as I like to call them) have value in that they can provide comfort and are enjoyable to eat. Fruits have only natural sugar, and we need sugar to survive. Plus, fruits are loaded with nutrition like fiber, vitamins, and minerals.
A final note...Besides the fact that food rules are bogus, following them only causes extra unnecessary stress. This stress can lead to worry, obsession, and fear around food, as well as an inability to trust your body and your hunger cues. Many eating disorders start with food rules.
Give in to cravings
Everyone has cravings, and they are nothing to be ashamed of. We often think cravings are bad and should be ignored. But think of the last time you ignored a craving for chips and ate carrots instead. What happened? Here is my guess: you hated the carrots and binged on chips later, eating way more chips than you probably would have had you eaten chips in the first place. Or, maybe you wanted chocolate after lunch but instead, you ate fruit you did not want. Did you find yourself eating extra chocolate that night?
The point is, cravings are not a bad thing and it is okay (and recommended) to just satisfy them ASAP because putting them off can lead to binges and regret. Normal eating means eating the candy when you first want it then moving on with your day. Forgetting what you've heard and understanding that cravings are normal and that fun foods are okay to eat can prevent a lot of unwanted stress around food.
Choose nutritious foods, but also fun foods
What does the term "balanced diet" mean to you? It's a bit of a broad term that can mean something different to all of us. Oftentimes when we hear this term, we only think of nutrient-dense foods like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, etc., and think we are supposed to balance just those foods and omit the fun stuff. I'll admit, I've used the term "balanced diet" in my practice as an RD and meant it this way. But the fun stuff should be a part of your diet if you want it to.
We tend to forget that we all have different calorie and nutrient needs. But regardless of this fact, the need for both nourishing foods and fun foods is the same for all of us. Obviously, we need fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, and healthy fats, and whatnot so we can obtain all the nutrients our bodies need to live and perform. But we actually need the fun stuff too, like cookies, crackers, ice cream, chips, and fries. This is because the fun stuff is what makes eating, well, fun. Eating should not be a chore or something that causes stress. It should be something that we do mostly to nourish our bodies but also for enjoyment. That is the balance we should strive for, the balance of nourishment and enjoyment from food.
Don't freak out if you stuff yourself
Another thing we hear a lot from diet culture is to never eat past fullness. Eating past fullness does not equal failure or automatic weight gain. Sometimes we eat past fullness because the food is just so good (ever heard of a little day called Thanksgiving?!). Sometimes we eat past fullness because we are having such great conversations with friends that we aren't paying attention. And sometimes we eat past fullness for no specific reason at all, and that's okay!
More than anything, eating until you're stuffed is just uncomfortable for a little while. Chances are, though, you will wake up the next day feeling normal again. But sometimes we can stress if we think we ate too much. If this is you, you may start to think you've failed if you stuff yourself. You may think you need to compensate with extra exercise or a day of eating only veggies. However, you should know that you never ever have to compensate. Your body has an amazing way of adjusting and balancing itself out. It knows exactly what calories and nutrients it needs to work and work well. And it knows how to digest, store, or excrete unneeded nutrients.
Be okay with eating emotionally sometimes
Food can bring up many emotions for people. It can also calm and nurture our emotions. A particularly stressful day can feel a little bit better after a tasty bowl of ice cream after dinner. A sad event can seem less so with some homemade macaroni and cheese. And an exciting life achievement can be celebrated with pizza and beer.
We tend to think of emotional eating as a bad thing that means we have no willpower or are out of control with food. Well, I'm here to tell you that it is okay to eat purely for emotional support, whatever the food may be. Food is delicious and has the power to turn a bad day around or elevate a happy day. Or maybe you eat emotionally to feel your feelings even more. That's okay too! Emotions are nothing to be ashamed of, so feel those feelings and eat that food you are yearning for.
Final words
Normal eating may sound like something unattainable, but really it is how we should all be eating. Diets and food rules are unnatural. What is natural and normal is honoring hunger cues, eating for both nourishment and enjoyment, and trusting our bodies to work as they should.
-Brittany Lubeck, MS, RD
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